The host pokes a little fun at the participants. It’s part of an elaborate pattern, you might even say a ritual, in some ways intended to lighten the mood. Trouble is, those at the receiving end feel a little intimidated and may think twice about contributing to the gathering. The end result is the banter inhibits the process, because it’s more about showing who’s boss.
In another place, the raillery seems to warm the mood of the meeting and put people at ease.
So what’s the difference?
And is banter a harmful or a helpful tactic?
Taking the second question first, I’d say be very careful. Banter, and humor in general, is very culturally dependent, and even if that aspect is OK, those less sure of themselves feel they can’t keep up. If in doubt, leave it out.
If you choose the riskier path, here’s what I think makes the difference…
There’s jocularity that puffs people up a little and there’s jocularity that deflates a little.
Now…
The quality of the meeting will be related to the self-esteem in the room. That seems likely, don’t you think?
So here’s my takeaway…
Keep ego and self-esteem in mind.
If you decide a little banter suits the circumstance and the people, reflect on this: Does your repartee build them up a bit, or does it knock them down a bit?
If you want a great meeting, I’d go for building them up.
That’s me.
What’s your take on banter?
Banter can be fun, but only if it’s kind.x
Thanks Ali and Eugene. That’s a nice way to look at it.
Oh the banter.
I myself like a bit of banter in a room, as you say to lessen any tensions and help create a bit of rapprt but generally it’s best to be self deprecating in these situations or to aim it only at someone who is in on the reason for it, like a co-host.
Even if its someone we know really well that is the object of a small light hearted jibe, unless that person responds in kind, the rest of the audience may be put off by worrying that they will be the target of a quip or worse still lose concentration on what you are telling them.
As with all things know your audience and act accordingly!
Thanks, Brian, it’s a delicate business, isn’t it?
It is indeed David. I’ve found it can even be geogrpahically specific, e.g. Glasgow and Edinburgh. What works in one city won’t necessarily “translate” to another.
Especially with those two! So close in geography as well – just 45 miles.
David,
I think it is relationship driven. Thinking about myself, there are guys who I am friends with who banter, and those who don’t. So if they came to my party, I might with the one but not the other. I would say don’t banter with strangers or acquantances until you know them better.
Thanks!
Thanks for your comment, David. Sounds wise to me.