It depends, of course…
…on the situation, our formal role within it (if any), our personal power or authority in the specific circumstances, the personalities of other people involved, and what we want or need to achieve.
If our aim is to make a difference in a professional situation, then we may well need to be more direct than would generally be considered socially conventional.
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on just how much that’s true—in my experience anyway. I’ve found I’ve benefited from being more challenging, as has the work, even though it can feel really uncomfortable to be so direct. Sometimes that’s what’s needed though.
Yes, of course…
We need to build a relationship, and that may require some caution and patience, but if that’s all we do, we probably won’t pass the “so what?” test. We might have to wait till next time for that. And the trouble is there might not be a next time.
Obviously, it helps if we can build trust and a strong relationship quickly—and, naturally, there are skills to that—and our reputation helps. Then we’ve more chance of success when we move into a more challenging part of the conversation.
But we do need to move into that more direct phase… if we want an outcome anyway.
How direct do you choose to be? Is that direct enough? Or sometimes too much?
There’s no single right answer here, but it’s worth thinking about.