Vic Conant, owner of Nightingale Conant Corporation, producer of audio learning programs and more, rarely goes in front of the microphone. One time he did, one of the most striking things he said was how some people would dismiss the learning from a wise source because “they didn’t like their voice” or some other ultimately irrelevant reason. It saddened him because in so doing, they missed out on learning which might well have enriched their lives.
And so it is for us…
If we want to find a reason to dismiss something, we’ll find one. Everything and everyone is fallible. What they say will have its weaknesses. Yet, we probably need the rest of what they have to offer and will be the poorer without it. The search for the perfect answer is futile. It doesn’t exist.
And there’s more…
If we look first for what’s wrong with something or someone, we’re kind of hard to be with.
Now here’s the thing…
Looking for the problem is part and parcel or the majority of professions, and it’s important, even vital. But relationship-building behavior warrants a shift, at least some of the time, to looking for what’s right with something or someone.
Two takeaways then…
1. Keep unnecessary information out of what you say and minimise the seeds you sow for a listener to dismiss you and your message.
2. Look for what’s right in something or someone and value that. See beyond the frailties to the gold inside.
Samantha Gluck says
Without a doubt, I notice what’s right first. I think it’s an innate characteristic of a person’s personality to naturally tend to notice what’s right before noticing what’s wrong. It can prove both beneficial and detrimental, depending on the circumstances, but I wouldn’t want to be a “glass half empty” kind of gal. 😉
Dr David Fraser says
Thanks Samantha. I’d say it is an innate characterstic and it’s one that’s worth becoming aware of. Seeing “half-empty glasses” all the time can cost us. Though, it is true the opposite can get us into trouble too, of a different kind. Self-awareness is the key. Then we can judge better what to do.